Desperate Housewives struck ratings gold by selling a post-feminist view of sex in the suburbs. But a survey released this week suggests the television show's real-world counterparts aren't buying it.

Of the 1,639 women polled for the StrategyOne study, only three per cent strongly agreed the media gives a realistic portrayal of sexual intimacy.

When asked specifically about Desperate Housewives -- a hit TV series widely praised for its depiction of modern women -- the responses remained chilly, with just eight per cent of respondents believing the show reflects the way they would like their sex lives to be.

Sex and the City, now enjoying a second life through reruns and DVD sales, fared slightly better at 15 per cent.

"(TV sex) is wildly unrealistic," says Chanelle Galant, sex columnist for Chatelaine and manager of Toronto-based women's sex shop Good for Her. "The media will never tell you it's normal to have an orgasm in a way you don't see on Desperate Housewives."

Although up to 70 per cent of women don't climax through intercourse and up to 30 per cent don't climax at all, Ms. Galant observes pleasurable sex on TV is nonetheless defined by orgasm. In addition, women on the small screen are often shown to climax quickly, whereas in real life she says on average it takes about 20 minutes.

"These shows might show wild and crazy sex, women having sex hanging from the chandeliers, but in fact it's a very conservative portrait of sexuality that's allowed to be shown," says Ms. Galant. "They're not courageous enough to show real pleasure."

But do women really expect these shows to mirror their private lives, sexual or otherwise?

The evidence suggests yes.

Desperate Housewives and Sex and the City have spawned entire cottage industries exploiting women's desire to share the experiences and lifestyle of their favourite TV personalities.

"We have this notion of what a sexually strong woman is," says Josey Vogels, a relationships columnist and author of Bedroom Manners: Sex Etiquette Made Easy. "It's not so much that we imagine what their personal lives are like but (rather) we project ourselves onto them."

According to the survey, the celebrity women most want to "resemble sexually" is Angelina Jolie (27 per cent), followed by Halle Berry (19 per cent), Demi Moore (14 per cent) and Jennifer Aniston (12 per cent).

Commissioned by Elexa, a new line of women's sexual health products from Church & Dwight, the survey data is based on online responses from females aged 18 to 59 and is considered accurate within 2.4 percentage points 19 times out of 20.

Veronique Hamel, director of marketing for Church & Dwight, says women are increasingly asking to be recognized as having different sexual needs than men.

"We have to rethink everything," says Ms. Hamel. "It's not just a question of message and advertising, it's really that we need to start from scratch to design products that fit (women's) needs specifically."

TV executives are rising to the challenge in their own way, focusing on strong female leads in their program offerings. This season, more than a half-dozen new shows are designed to attract the female demographic.
© The Ottawa Citizen 2005