The Tween Diaries
Girls figure out how
to be young women amid barrage of celebrity culture
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Friends Sammi Maciel, 11, Molly Redmond,
11, and Katrin Larusson, 12, link arms. The girls said they read stories
about celebrities in magazines, but do not see them as role models
because life is more than being pretty.
Emma Garrard/Sierra Sun
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By Sierra Countis
Sierra Sun,
scountis@sierrasun.com
March 23, 2007
URL: http://www.sierrasun.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=200770323001
Celebrities have become familiar icons we see day in and day
out. Reading and talking about the latest antics of Britney Spears or Paris
Hilton is how we, as a society, define ourselves.
Eleven-year-old Molly Redmond, a sixth-grader at Alder Creek Middle School, says
she thinks Britney Spears doesn’t appreciate her real self, since she’s always
changing her look.
But separating fact from fiction can prove troublesome for some girls as they
find themselves showered with sensationalized stories by an insatiable media,
says Krishna Desai, a violence prevention educator with Tahoe Women’s Services.
Similar to Roman times when crowds cheered for a blood-bath during a gladiator
fight, America loves a great coming-of-age story, but many people also like it
when someone in the spotlight falls, Desai says.
But what kind of story are we telling young girls with the media’s portrayal of
and obsession with Hollywood’s party girls?
| Tween Fashion |
Tween fashion
targets girls who are too old to play with toys but too young for boys.
Many of the clothing styles geared for 9- to 13-year-old girls have been
criticized as too adult or too sexy for their age. Clothing such as
brightly colored T-shirts splashed with sexually suggestive words like
“cute” embroidered across the chest in rhinestones, or pants with the
word “juicy” stitched on the rear can be found at most mass retail
chains. Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen have aimed their clothing line of
fashion-forward looks, sold at Wal-Mart stores, to girls age 4 to 14.
“There’s no Limited Too — Boys’ Edition,” Desai says of the recent
plethora of tween fashion marketed exclusively to girls.
Plus, retail executives already know a girl can never have too many
shoes, or purses for that matter. The earlier you can get a consumer
hooked on a product the better, she says.
Wearing soccer shorts and a light pink tank top, sixth-grade student
Larusson says she likes to shop at stores like Gap and Abercrombie &
Fitch for T-shirts and pants. Living in Tahoe, shopping at the mall is a
special occasion, Cindy Maciel says. Girls aren’t hangin’ at the mall
every weekend like many city girls do for fun.
And if a girl’s wardrobe isn’t appropriate, it’s OK to say “no,” Cindy
Maciel says of shopping for her daughter. “You’re the one buying it.” |
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Media Influence
Media — TV, tabloid mags, newspapers and particularly the
Internet — are today more readily accessible to youngsters of all ages, Desai
observes.
“For junior high kids — it’s opening Pandora’s box. Everything’s at their little
grubby fingertips,” she says.
Desai adds that the Internet “exposes such an impressionable young person to
social factors that are not mitigated by adults.”
Media literacy is not where it should be, and some youngsters have a hard time
separating myth from reality, Desai cautions. And today’s youths are often
immersed in the media.
Nowadays, many couples both work full time, making it easy for their children to
have unsupervised access to the Internet and television, says Jan Susman, a
counselor at Truckee Elementary School.
One of the myths media coverage of celebrities portrays is the easy life of
affluence — young stars flaunting their disposable incomes with cars,
million-dollar homes and expensive clothing.
Most youths living in Truckee and the North Shore know they’re not going to have
those material things — and that says something about our society, Desai says.
The majority of children who are aware that society includes both haves and
have-nots are able to differentiate between what’s real and what’s not.
But the media’s portrayal of people in the spotlight, who seemingly achieved
overnight success, can lead some youngsters to feel less than positive about
themselves, Susman says. The pressure can be brutal for youths on the cusp of
their teenage years, better known as tweens.
Susman, the school counselor, says pop culture — what tweens wear, the music
they listen to, and how they talk to each other — affects who they will become
as adults.
And stars are now shown behaving badly more often in the media, Susman says.
“When I was growing up it was more hush-hush,” and things like rehab weren’t
talked about openly, she says.
Tahoe Women’s Center’s Desai says it’s important for kids to learn that sadness
is an everyday fact. But when explaining to a girl why Britney’s in rehab, it’s
important to keep the explanation age-appropriate, she says. The lesson is not
lost on many teens.
“(Britney Spears) was all good girl and now she’s turned into something else,”
says Angie Ortega, 17, a Sierra High student who volunteers at the Humane
Society of Truckee-Tahoe.
And if a tween develops a celebrity crush, they’re likely drawn to something
positive in that person — like singing or dancing — and parents should nurture
those qualities in their children, Desai says.
“Celebrities are a brand name; but they’re also a person,” Desai says.
Take Paris Hilton for example: “Maybe she comes up with crazy things to boost
her career, but don’t say to a girl who admires her, ‘Paris Hilton is a
worthless human being,’” Desai explains.
Instead, she says, find something good to emphasize about that person.
| Psst ... Celebrity
Gossip On The Net |
“When I’m good, I’m
very, very good. When I’m bad, I’m better.” — Mae West, American
actress, playwright, screenwriter, sex symbol (1892-1980)
Google Britney Spears and about 33.2 million Web sites to choose from
pop up. Sensationalized celebrity gossip sites like tmz.com and
perezhilton.com try to one-up each other with the latest juicy dirt in
Hollywood.
Fans of Britney Spears must be at least 13 years old to e-mail the
troubled star well wishes and to read her latest blog messages posted on
the site, www.britneyspears.com. |
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Role Models
There’s a real lack of strong role models for children
today, Desai says. Girls are trying to figure out how to become young women.
Susman says girls start to become more aware of genders by the fourth or fifth
grade.
“All of a sudden you start seeing them distance themselves, talking in cliques
amongst themselves, and girls not putting their hand up in class,” Susman says.
At the same age, many boys also assume gender roles patterned on the example set
by our society, Susman says.
Issues over body image also begin to surface at the tween age, Desai says.
Tweens are changing emotionally, physically and mentally, she points out.
Anything that helps youth blend in at that tipping point of adolescence — they
grab it. Many youths have a herd-mentality at that age, a tendency to go with
what’s popular, she says. Yet they must measure themselves against idealized
images in the media.
Young girls are constantly presented with photographs in magazines of perfectly
toned, tanned, made-up, and airbrushed women that portray a difficult-to-attain
— if not impossible — standard of beauty.
“It doesn’t stay in Hollywood,” Desai says; “but until girls have something to
contrast that with, it gets harder and harder.”
Susman says she has counseled fourth and fifth-grade girls dealing with
depression and concerns with body image.
“Girls need to know they’re loved, and remember how special they are and how
special it is to be a girl,” Susman says.
What does it take?
So what does it take to be a good role model in the real
world?
Redmond and her two friends, Sammi Maciel, 11, and Katrin Larusson,12, talk over
each other as they wait for soccer practice to begin, chattering about how
they’ve been friends since preschool. The Alder Creek sixth-graders say they
look up to their older sisters and relatives, because they don’t make you feel
bad about yourself. And the girls say they know their close relatives will
always be there for them.
Being a role model means more than just having a pretty face, the girls agree.
Maciel says she admires her cousin because she gets good grades in college, has
a sense of humor and treats other people well.
Role models don’t have to be perfect people. As long as a mentor is honest, he
or she doesn’t have to have celebrity status to be a solid role model.
“Just show up,” Desai advises.
Tahoe Women’s Services tries to give girls the tools they need to go out into
the world and apply what they’ve learned in all aspects of their lives, Desai
says.
Maturing is learning how to see all the things in your world for what they are,
and many tweens will eventually grow out of their childhood celebrity crushes,
Desai says. The presence of responsible role models can help.
We have danced around the role of being a parent recently, Susman the counselor
says, giving youths more power. Children watch what parents do more than what
they say.
“Parents need to be the captain of the ship,” Susman says. “‘Because I said so,’
is ultimately, I think, what kids want [to hear].”
For the most part, it’s not movie stars or athletes that youths admire, says
Cindy Maciel, Sierra Teen Education and Parenting Program manager, and the
mother of Sammi Maciel. Parents are supposed to be the role models.
Ask an adult, “Who really helped you out?” Desai says. “No one’s like: ‘Keith
Richards.’”
Tweens probably need us more now than when they were babies because of all the
changes happening in their lives and the choices they will make, Cindy Maciel
says. Parents need to listen to what their children have to say, talk to them,
and be there as a check-in.
She sighs and rolls her eyes as she thinks about what the teenage rebellion
years are going to be like in her household.
As a mom, “I don’t know if I’m doing it right,” Cindy Maciel concedes.
