Oh yeah, and that you’re way too depressed to deal with any of it.

But don’t fear. There’s Lunesta and Ambien for sleep; Crestor and Zocor for cholesterol; Cialis and Viagra for erectile dysfunction; Claritin and Zyrtec for allergies; and Zoloft and Paxil for depression.

Sure, there are some side effects (nausea, dizziness, drowsiness and four-hour erections), so "ask your doctor if this drug is right for you."

It’s called direct-to-consumer advertising, and pharmaceutical companies are counting on television viewers to take the bait, remember the drug name and call their doctors.

"For the 65-year-old post-menstrual woman asking what Cialis is and does she need Cialis . . . that’s a waste of time," said Dr. Elena Christofides, an endocrinologist in Victorian Village.

"Many people just write the prescriptions for the patients because it’s easier to do that than arguing . . ."

Drugmakers say they do it to educate the public.

"It raises awareness and encourages them to seek medical attention if they think they have a particular disease," said Gaile Renegar, a spokeswoman for drugmaker GlaxoSmithKline.

GlaxoSmithKline products include Advair, Flonase and Paxil.

A 2005 poll by the Kaiser Family Foundation, a nonprofit research group, found that 23 percent of adults who saw a drug advertisement asked their doctor about the medication. Of those, 75 percent received a prescription.

Pharmaceutical companies spent $11.9 billion advertising to doctors and consumers in 2004, according to the foundation. That year, they spent $38.8 billion on research and development, according to Pharmaceutical Research and Manufacturers of America.

Americans spent $188.5 billion on prescriptions in 2004. In 1998, they spent $88 billion.

The Food and Drug Administration didn’t allow drugmakers to advertise on television or radio until 1997.

While prescription-drug sales are a small part of the nation’s overall health-care costs, they are the fastest growing area with double-digit rate increases since 1995, according to Kaiser.

"It does put more pressure on physicians to communicate with their patients about this," said Mollyann Brodie, vice president for public opinion and media research at Kaiser.

And if you think there are more cholesterol ads during the evening news, you’re right. Networks give advertisers information about who watches specific programs to better direct products, said Robert P. Leone, a marketing professor at Ohio State University. He said commercials during the evening news are aimed at consumers with high education and income levels.

Dr. Stephen Canowitz, a Columbus internal medicine and pediatrics physician, said about a third of his patients ask about specific drugs they say they’ve seen advertised.

"If they can get five patients on that medicine, with (the blood-thinner) Plavix being $5 per pill, they’ve basically paid for that ad," he said. "Patients will be on it for 30 years under their marketing scheme."

Some physicians say they are concerned that reading all the side effects during commercials — it’s an FDA requirement — can scare some patients from taking a drug that could help them.

"They don’t list the percentage of the side effects, and the consumer thinks everybody gets all the side effects . . . " Christofides said.

Then there are the free trial prescriptions advertised on television. Consumers can call for vouchers that they take to their doctors.

"It would be hard to tell someone ‘no’ that way — they’re all kind of expensive," said Dr. Kristin Oaks, a family physician in Worthington.

"Most of those things they’re advertising, they’re more like lifestyle-type drugs. You don’t hear a lot of blood-pressure medications or diabetes. It’s Viagra or your toenails can look prettier."